Some of us have our parents micromanaging our lives without having to pay them a single penny. Unfortunately, it's because we're broke, and their advice is usually taken with a sigh and an eye roll.
Celebrity momagers and dadagers are notorious for being spotlight-stealing, career-pushing psychopaths, but they're not all bad. While it seems there are a lot crazier showbiz moms that take the reigns, the dads aren't completely off the hook. Sometimes, they're even worse. I'm not sure who I'd rather have manage my life, but these celebs are stuck with their parents, and their parents are stuck with 10%.
Kris Jenner: Say what you will about Kris Jenner (lord knows her kids do), but she's responsible for turning her family into a multi-million dollar brand. Everyone's family is dysfunctional, why not make some money off of it? The rest of the Kardashian clan usually gives Kris a hard time, but although loves the spotlight, she does a good job of giving her daughters their time to shine. Even though they don’t feel like it sometimes.
Inez Dunst: There's a reason you can Google "Inez Dunst" and the first result is "Kirsten Dunst" and not a giant picture of Inez followed by her Wikipedia page like some celebrity momagers. It's because Inez knows what she's doing. Kirsten has landed roles since she was little, but when she was a teenager, she blamed her mom for pushing her into the spotlight. Later, Dunst said her mom "always had the best intentions."
Dina Lohan: Lindsay Lohan's mom still manages Lindsay and her younger sister, Ali. She's been criticized for capitalizing on Lindsay's fame and driving her to a life of drugs and alcohol. Lindsay's career hasn't exactly been flourishing lately, which leaves Dina little room to redeem herself. The lesson for momagers here: stay out of your clients' spotlight. Living vicariously through your kids is just mean.
Lesley R. Vogel: Hayden Panettiere's mother, Lesley, was a soap opera actress who wanted her daughter to follow in her footsteps. Before Hayden had her first birthday, she was starring in commercials. Lesley might have pushed her into the fame game, but like a good momager, Vogel stays out of the public eye to let her daughter's career blossom.
Matthew Knowles: Before she exploded into the superstar she is today, Beyonce was managed by her father, Matthew Knowles. Matthew's early involvement in Destiny's Child caused some original members to split, but based on the group's huge success, Matthew had good dadagerial skills. But when the media found out he was two-timing Beyonce's mom, Matthew's relationship with his daughter wasn't the same. He now manages Solange, Beyonce's younger sister.
Joe Simpson: He's notorious for being overbearing, and when Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey divorced in 2006, Lachey said: "I don’t pretend to understand Joe. And I can’t speculate about what he did or why he did it or for what purpose." But Joe went from overbearing to creepy when he said his own daughter's breasts were "sexy". Not cool.
Jack Birch: After she starred in American Beauty, Thora Birch hasn't been seen much. And her former porn star father, Jack Birch, might be to blame. Thora was booted from an off-Broadway revival of Dracula in 2010 after her dad threatened one of the actors because he thought he was giving his daughter too many backrubs. Director Paul Alexander said, "It was odd to have Jack Birch around so much, but that it hadn’t really been a problem until Thursday.” Hey, at least he's protecting his daughter and not pimping her out like some Dadagers.
For celebs with momagers, their downfall usually has something to do with their moms living vicariously through them. And for celebs with dadagers, the problems that arise seem to be boobie or sex-related in some way, whether it's a lewd comment, a tawdry affair, or threatening someone for trying to get in your daughter's pants. In the end, maybe the best thing for everyone is to hire a professional.