Why Kim Kardashian is Hiding Out

June 27, 2013 By:
Why Kim Kardashian is Hiding Out

Since giving birth to Illuminati baby North West nearly two weeks ago, Kim Kardashian has gone into hiding, which is all sorts of weird because Kim’s career is 100% dependent on paparazzi photos and tweets.

So, why is Kim hiding away from the only thing that makes her relevant? Is she gone for good? Is she planning the biggest comeback ever? These are our thoughts.

1)   She’s planning a body comeback: Kim is hiding out and getting some “body alterations," interpret that however you will. Then when Kim finally steps out in public for the first time, she will look FAB.

2)   She wants to boost Kris Jenner’s show ratings: If Kim hides out for just 3 more weeks, she can make her public debut on Kris Jenner’s new talk show, which airs on July 15. How much would that boost the premiere’s ratings if it’s billed as “Kim’s Return To TV!” That family is so damn calculated (if we're right). 

3)   Breastfeeding herself to skinny: Kim is reportedly LOVING breastfeeding and since it’s the only way you’re “allowed” to workout post-pregnancy, we assume Kim is just lactating her way to skinny.

4)   She can charge more: The longer Kim hides out, the more expensive her first post-baby photos will cost. Kim can get a better payday to cover a magazine the longer she waits. She also does deals with paparazzi and the FIRST photo of her walking about post-baby is probably going to cost an obscene amount of money, leading to a nice kickback for Kim.