Why Is Kim Kardashian Covered In Blood?

March 11, 2013 By:
Why Is Kim Kardashian Covered In Blood?
Image By: Instagram

Apparently faking a wedding and getting knocked up isn’t enough for the Kardashian's ratings anymore, so Kim Kardashian has resorted to vampirism. Cool. Normal. Everything going on here is super normal.

Kim is basking in a bath of her own blood because it is A) disgusting and B) makes your skin more youthful.

Kim is getting something they call a blood facial, or an “updated vampire facelift.” I don’t know what an outdated vampire facelift is, but it sounds terrifying.

Kim captioned this grotesque photo as, “Tonight on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami!!!! #VampireFacial #kktm.”

So yeah, the Kardashians HAVE resorted to vampirism to boost ratings.

Kris Jenner: “Twilight” is the most popular thing in the world!? What do they have that we don’t?

Kendall Jenner: Uhh, vampires. They have vampires, mom.

Kris Jenner: Vampires! Yes, that will do just fine! **laughs maniacally** Muahahaha!

Apparently, Dr. Paul Nassif from the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” is one of the pioneers of this facial, naturally, because the NBC Universal family of television shows loves to shamelessly help it’s own.

In related news, Kris Humphries’ aunt told UK Tabloid The Sun that Kris’ wedding to Kim Kardashian was only for ratings and that she most definitely "frauded" him into a wedding because she needed to get more famous. However, we already knew this. Kris has been blowing the fraud horn for months!