The only use for a celebrity tabloid magazine is to keep your mind off of your impending root canal in the dentist's waiting room. Or try out these random gems from the silly silly mouths of celebs and their equally ridiculous “sources.”
“Kim Survived Her First Diaper” from OK!
“Kim feels like Nori is virtually germ-free because she is such a perfect little angel,” a source says of Kim’s inability to understand cleanliness.
“Charlize Is Threatened By Scarlett” from National Enquirer
“Charlize Theron fears she’ll lose her fat Dior deal if rival Scarlett Johansson continues her love affair with all things French,” prints the National Enquirer on Charlize being threatened because the other curvy blonde, ScarJo went to France a couple times.
Gwyneth Paltrow Recommends $100,000 Indonesian Trip To Fans
In her recent GOOP newsletter, Gwyneth forgot that her fanbase DOESN’T make millions of dollars a year and recommended a $100,000 boat trip around the Archipelago Islands. She posted a photo of the kitchen and wrote, “You better like your sous chef in a kitchen this small.”
Ryan Gosling’s Dog Loves Apples, From Ryan Gosling
“'I take my beloved dog George with me almost everywhere I go. We know that they have individual personalities and quirks (George loves apples, for example) and that they feel both physical and mental pain,” Gosling wrote in a letter to the pork industry (?).