Kim Kardashian Isn't Looking For a New Man

December 16, 2011 By:
Kim Kardashian Isn't Looking For a New Man

Put away your headshots and resumes, guys. Kim Kardashian is done casting for new boyfriends.

"I'm not looking" the reality star recently said, regarding finding a new man.

After seeing what happened to Kris Humphries, I don’t exactly think anyone's gunning to have their balls removed by Kris Jenner and listen to four women whose voices sound like sick cats for the rest of their life (or at least 72 days).

Kim added that she's trying to move on from her divorce from Kris Humphries:

"I'm really thinking that 2011 was a lot of learning lessons."

Yes, lessons. Lessons like, if you're going to stage a marriage, at least try to keep the ruse going for more than two months. Because 72 days is now its own increment of time known as the Kardashian.

"I really need to get my oil changed. It's been like 3 Kardashians!"

Despite everything, Kim is hopeful about the future. "2012, I'm just excited for the New Year and the new me.” She adds "I believe in love…always."

Really? Because I'm pretty sure your heart has been replaced by the E! logo.

Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian has purchased some of Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry. And I think the earth just tilted off its axis a little bit from me using Kim Kardashian and Elizabeth Taylor in the same sentence. Specifically, Kardashian paid $64,900 for a set of Lorraine Schwartz bangles. Which is a hell of a lot of money for something that she's just going to lose in the ocean.

"Elizabeth Taylor was an idol of mine and I'm honored to now own something from her collection," Kardashian said.

GOD: Liz! A Kardashian just bought your old bracelets! HAHAHA

LIZ: Oh, screw you.