We don't know what Kim Kardashian's role is in the upcoming Temptation, but if her latest Instagram photo is anything to go by, the film is a thrilling account of a pregnant woman who has a passionate and adulterous threesome with an In-N-Out cheeseburger and a tray of cheesy fries written by Tyler Perry.
The reality TV tycoon-balloon sang her praises of its menu after making a quick pit stop at the famed fast-food joint for her first major pregnancy craving.
For those of you keeping score at home: Stuff that makes you skinny, stuff that makes you un-skinny, Kim Kardashian has literally endorsed everything now. Just don't be shocked when you go to In-N-Out this afternoon, jokingly order your fries "Kim Kardashian Style" off the secret menu and they actually make it for you.
Kim doesn't care though. "Damn!!! I spoke too soon! My 1st pregnancy craving! #InNOut #EnjoyingEveryBite," she tweeted—right as she ran over a h8er while exiting the drive-thru, because she took her eyes off the road to wipe globs of cheese smeared across her Lanvin skirt.
Also, if the common urban legend I just made up is to be believed, Kim's definitely having a boy. Everyone knows that if your first pregnancy craving is an In-N-Out cheeseburger it's a boy, a girl if it's a Gordita from Taco Bell.
The "speaking too soon" Kim's referring to is a recent E! News interview she gave in which she said, "I just don't crave any of the junk food that I used to eat normally and that really is upsetting to me. I thought I was going to be home eating like McDonald's and Taco Bell and ice cream—can't eat any of it."
Every move Kim makes is documented by either her family or the paparazzi, so naturally everyone's eating up her diet and ill-fitting outfits too. You can't even check out at Ralphs without a tabloid screaming "KIM KARDASHIAN CAN'T STOP EATING" and "DON'T CALL ME FAT" and "STOP TALKING ABOUT ME JK DON'T STOP I LOVE IT" from their end caps and this photo is sure to only add more greasy fuel to the tabloid fire.
If those rags are to be believed and Kim's eating her way into an approximately (and totally unverified) 500–2,000 pound weight gain, don't be surprised if the In-N-Out CEO is secretly filing for bankruptcy. Kim's 2nd, 3rd, and 54th cravings are sure to put the franchise out of business. A small price to pay for Baby Kimye. The prince must be fed.