Well, that didn’t last long.
Kim Kardashian will be filing for divorce from Kris Humphries Monday morning. The two had a long, difficult marriage filled with obstacles and—oh wait, they were married for 72 days, nevermind. I have an parking ticket that’s older than their marriage.
According to TMZ, even though the marriage was short, Kim won’t seek an annulment. Kim will be citing “irreconcilable differences.” The date of separation is listed as October 31, 2011.
Kim hired divorce attorney Laura Wesser, who has repped Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie and Ryan Reynolds.
And you better believe there’s a prenup. Kris won’t be getting any parting gifts. Except, perhaps, royalties from the E! wedding special, Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event. The special is supposed to be re-broadcast again this weekend. Spoiler alert…it doesn’t last.
E! Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest just tweeted: “Yes @kimkardashian is filing for divorce this morning. I touched base with her, getting a statement in just a few mins.”
I’m surprised he didn’t add, “Make sure to stay tuned for the E! divorce special: Kim and Kris Take Divorce Kourt!”
Just this weekend, Kim showed up on the red carpet dressed as a sultry Poison Ivy. When asked where her
And while the media speculated that they were on the outs since last week, Kim insisted it was only because they were physically in different places.
"Being in New York for a couple of months, I went to L.A. to unpack, and he had to go and bring all his stuff to unpack in Minnesota," Kim explained. "It's always tough when you're apart. But we do what we can to try and spend time together and make that time for each other."
Kim: Kris, why aren’t you here in L.A.?
Kris: What do you mean, boss? I thought I had three paid vacation days.
Kim: That’s after thirty days! Don’t make me take away your health plan!!
Last week, rumors surfaced that Kardashian had basically set up a casting call for her future husband.
According to a source, a representative from E! originally approached NBA star Danilo Gallinari and asked if he was interesting in dating Kim. The network wanted Kim to date a big New York athlete for the debut season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York. Gallinari was told the move would be good for his career. The New York Knicks player declined, saying he’d be happy to meet Kim, but wasn’t interested in becoming a reality star.
E! had “no comment” on the matter.
So basically, Kris Humphries was an understudy. And recently, he’s seemed like he’s had enough of being in the spotlight. Last weekend, he was spotted flirting with a girl at a Miami nightclub. Then, later on in the week, he and Kim met up for dinner, arriving together in separate vehicles. After the dinner, Kris went in Kim’s car, where the two appeared to have a serious discussion. It ended with an obligatory kiss, and then Kris got out of his car and left.
I feel like I just gave away the next season. Sorry, handful of people still watching the Kardashians.
Okay, so what happened between these two? Sources close to the couple tell TMZ part of the reason for the split is Kim refused to ever settle down in Minnesota, where Kris is from.
Is it just me, or is this stuff you work out before you get married? Well, according to the sources, the two briefly touched on the subject but got so caught up in wedding hoopla, they decided to figure it out after the $10 million dollar event.
Which probably means they started arguing about it, and then E! waved that shiny tiara in front of Kim’s face and hypnotized Kris with a picture of Kim’s butt, which is probably how they captured him in the first place.