Kardashians Debut Their Most Bizarre Christmas Card Ever

December 2, 2013 By:
Kardashians Debut Their Most Bizarre Christmas Card Ever
Image By: David LaChapelle

Merry Khristmas from America’s favorite family to hate debate: The Kardashians!

The reality TV super-family unveiled their annual Christmas card and not only is it as over-the-top as ever, it's also their most strange, confusing, and bizarre. It’s basically more time consuming than any “I Spy” layout because what the hell are we looking at here?

In the endlessly tongue-in-cheek shoot photographed by artist David LaChapelle—which doesn't include a single reference to Christmas that the naked eye can see—the family is staged in a dystopian, quasi-Vegas casino. Because nothing screams the holidays like a family in shambles celebrating their own dysfunction.

What are those brain-controlling apparatuses attached to the Jenner sisters' hair? When did Mason’s head get too big for his body? An Illuminati pyramid next to Bruce Jenner’s Wheaties box suggests what exactly? And why is he trapped in a cryogenic chamber of fear? So. Many. Questions.

Kim, in a plunging black Saint Laurent dress, commands the most attention, but what's most notable about the card besides who’s in it, is who’s missing. Absent family members include Lamar Odom, Rob Kardashian, Kanye West and baby North West.