The Real Reason John Mayer and Katy Perry Split

March 26, 2013 By:
The Real Reason John Mayer and Katy Perry Split

Last week John Mayer and Katy Perry broke up. We didn’t care THAT much because they were kind of on-again off-again to begin with AND they weren’t our favorite Hollywood couple, let’s be real. But now we know why they truly broke up and we love insider gossip more than anything, so here it is... 

So, John and Katy were reportedly on their way to a Chihuahua rescue center (how romantic) to presumably adopt a dog and take their relationship to the next level (parenting an animal together) when tragedy struck!

“When they stopped for gas, Katy opened the glove compartment and found a phone number written on a napkin. One thing led to another and needless to say they never made it to the dog shelter. Katy called her assistant to take her home and they haven’t spoken since,” a source told Grazia.

Here's why we don't believe this: Who writes their number on a napkin anymore? Since the invention of the cell-phone, no one has written their phone number on anything! It's like "Oh where's your iPhone, I want to put my number in it. No? Write it down on a napkin and then you'll input the number later?" Do you see why this is impractical? Moving on. 

Basically, John Mayer never “settled down” with Katy like we all thought he had.

Also, Katy’s dad, the evangelical pastor, FREAKED John Mayer out when, “Katy’s dad took John aside and asked him to take care of his daughter. The pressure to settle down properly really freaked John out.”

Geez, it’s not their wedding!

Anyways, her friends think it’s for the best, “She’ll surround herself with her girlfriends and work. When she was with John, we didn’t see much of her because they stayed in more – now she’ll be having the time of her life.”

If “time of her life” is “going to the Kids' Choice Awards,” then sure, she’s doing great.