Guy Pearce: Emmy Win Was Because I Had A Lot of Sex With Kate Winslet

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Guy Pearce: Emmy Win Was Because I Had A Lot of Sex With Kate Winslet
At tonight’s Emmy Awards a real-life movie actress was in the audience! Ohh! Ahh! That’s right, Kate Winslet was at the Emmy Awards, nominated for her role in the HBO mini-series, “Mildred Pierce.”

It was like someone invited the prom queen to the drama club party and everyone was like “Is she real?!” and “Can I touch!?”

Anyways, when Kate Winslet’s co-star, Guy Pearce, accepted his award for Outstanding Supporting Actor for “Mildred Pierce,” he made several dirty sexual innuendo-laden jokes at Winslet’s expense.

First, Pearce joked that his role involved having sex with Winslet’s character many, many time.

“I got to have sex with Kate Winslet many many times and I didn’t know it was going to result in this,” says Pearce.

He then thanked her for allowing him to “insert myself in your world.”

Each time he said something about having sex with Kate Winslet, the camera would cut away to Winslet laughing hysterically in the audience. And then they would cut away to Pearce’s actual real life wife, who looked totally uncomfortable! Someone didn’t rehearse their acceptance speech for their wife!! RUH ROH!

Then, as if that wasn’t awkward enough, which was totally awkward, I’m sure, Pearce thanked his wife personally for allowing him to sleep with Kate Winslet. We get it! You had fake TV sex with Kate Winslet, let’s continue to address the elephant in the room! That Kate Winslet is at the same awards ceremony as the wheelchair kid from Glee!

Anyways, after Pearce thanked his real wife, whose name is also Kate (Double Awk), the camera cut away to her AGAIN and she was still NOT REALLY LAUGHING!

Guy Pearce: (Saying) I got to have sex with Kate Winslet! (Thinking) Best acceptance speech ever!
Kate Winslet: (Saying) ha ha ha. (Thinking) Please stop talking about my vag.
Guy Pearce’s wife: (Saying) ha ha ha (Thinking) Thank your agent and get off the damn stage.


Guy Pearce is best known for his roles in “The King’s Speech” and “Memento.”

Later that night, Kate Winslet also won for her role in the HBO series, “Mildred Pierce.”

But honestly, how could Kate Winslet not win at the Emmys. She was in TITANIC, you guys! And that was practically the “Avatar” of the 90’s.

If Kate Winslet didn’t win an Emmy that would be like one of those dinosaur birds losing in a cock-fight against regular roosters.

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