It’s a very happy birthday for Kate Middleton!
The Duchess of Cambridge will turn 31 on Wednesday, January 9th. It’s her second birthday as a royal wife and her very first as a mom-to-be.
Hollyscoop has been in contact with the Royal Palace, who says that the Duchess is “spending her birthday privately.”
So, since the Royal Palace won’t clue us in at what is actually going on, here are 10 things that Kate might be doing to celebrate her 31st year of life (but probably not):
1. Dusting Off Her Tiaras: Or, more like having her staff combat the pesky soil particles for her.
2. Eating Cake, Then Throwing Up Due to Morning Sickness: Cake is only good traveling past the esophagus in one direction. Hopefully Kate’s “acute morning sickness” has subsided enough to enjoy a slice or two on her special day.
3. Opening Presents That She Refuses to Keep: The Duchess is likely flushed with precisely-wrapped packages today. But, being the all-star, selfless personality that she is, she’ll probably end up giving it all away to charity.
4. Hiding From All the Old People With Really Long Names in Her House Who Claim That They Are Related: In 2011, Kate married into a never-ending royal clan made up of people with lengthy and perplexing titles. No doubt she’s still getting a handle on remembering them all…
5. Being Way Better Than You at One of the Following: Tennis, philanthropy, netball (whatever that is), being allergic to horses, field hockey, public speaking, fashion, being pregnant, getting her picture taken, and wooing royal studs.
6. Not Drinking: Some parts of pregnancy are a real bummer, especially on a birthday. Virgin margaritas all around!
7. Calling in Jesters to Perform for Her: “Dance, fool. Dance!”
8. Getting Surprised by Will, Who Called the Local Radio Station to Request Her Favorite Song: I realize that “radio station” is a touchy subject right now, but how cool would this be?
9. Ordering in KFC: Yes, there is Kentucky Fried Chicken in London. (Thanks, Google!). But, rather than lining her arteries with the greasy results of some unsavory deep-fried chicken to go, Kate will much more likely be munching on carrot sticks and vitamin supplements.
10. Practicing Her Wave: “It’s hard work being me.”