A wise person once told me, “You have to really be INTO Kanye West in order to UNDERSTAND Kanye West. Otherwise, you’ll just think he’s crazy.”
(That person was the editor of our sister site, Modamob.com. You can read more of her lyrical elegance here).
What we’re trying to say is that if you are a Kanye fan, everything he says makes perfect sense. For the rest of the world he’s a garbled nonsense machine of riddles, and we dare you to understand anything he’s talking about.
These are some of his best/worst gems from his recent GQ interview. We say best/worst, because it all depends on whether or not you bow down at the altar of Yeezus.
“Skinny pants are rock 'n' roll. And big coats are really hip-hop. I'm looking for 50 percent rock 'n' roll, 50 percent hip-hop, 50 percent genius.”
That’s 150% breh.
“I hope we don't see no paparazzi today. Because I'm still getting acquainted with these jogging pants I threw on.”
I’m sorry, acquainted with, pants?
Kanye: “I don't have fangs. I'm a porcupine. I'm a blowfish. Like, I'm a—what's the fish that blows up?”
GQ: “A blowfish?”
Kanye: “Yeah. I'm a blowfish. I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish.”
“It's a trend to take the piss out of celebrity—just as much of a trend as wearing a gray hoodie or driving a Prius.”
But is it though?
“Carine Roitfeld is the Walt Disney of what Tumblr is today. She is the Kanye West of what Tumblr is today.”
None of that makes any sense. Are you saying that Carine Roitfelt IS Disney? Or Tumblr? Or is Tumblr supposed to be Disney? WHAT ARE WORDS?!
“So Page Six can't overshadow the main point: Carine Roitfeld was sitting next to Kim Kardashian”
Did y’all get married just so Kim could sit next to fashion people or what?
“I argue that it's the best rap verse of all time. It's the Coming to America or Anchorman of a verse.”
“This is the Anchorman of rap music!” said no one ever.
“But what makes me happy is land, and we're on a boat now. This is Christopher Columbus.”
Are Kimye comparing themselves to Christopher Columbus?
But mostly, this: “Like they said in Step Brothers: 'Never lose your dinosaur.'”
Like, we WANT to understand this, but we just can’t.