We just spent the last two hours reading Justin Bieber erotic fan fiction and now we feel like we need to pour poison in our eyes to unread all the creepy sexiness. If you don’t know what fan fiction is, first of all WHAT, second of all fan fiction is when fans write and share stories featuring their favorite celebs doing weird, and usually terrifyingly erotic stuff.
Here is just a sampling of some of the WEIRDEST and WORST celeb fan fiction out there.
Chris Brown and Rihanna Fifty Shades: There’s an actual book out called “Fifty Shades of Sin” which is a Chris Brown and Rihanna fan fiction novel. An excerpt from the book reads, “I was salivating over Chris. He was so damn fine. I wanted to eat him.” It only gets steamier/grosser from there.
Justin Bieber Likes Mean Girls: This specific fan fiction features one of Justin’s photographers having a torrid hotel room affair with the Biebs where they…wait for it…watch Mean Girls. The excerpt reads, “'You’re eyes are really pretty,' says Justin. 'Uh, thank you?' I say, but it comes out sounding more like a question. ‘So, you agree? You think they’re really pretty?’ I roll my eyes and let out a small laugh at his Mean Girls reference.”
Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus Hook Up in a Tree: There’s a lot of Disney stars having lesbian affairs on the Internet. This one features Demi Lovato hooking up with Miley Cyrus and NOT recognizing her somehow. Also, they are stuck in a tree for reasons we can’t explain. The excerpt reads: “'What’s your name?' I sighed. 'Miley.' My eyes bulged out of their sockets. Miley, Miley Stewart? AS in Billy Ray’s daughter?’ I hopped out of the tree, my shirt billowing behind me as I ran down the endless sidewalk.”
Zayn Malik from One Direction is a Vampire: As if boy bands and vampires didn’t already have enough of a cult following, this fan fiction paints Zayn Malik as an evil, yet sexy vampire. The excerpt reads: “’I’ve been out for a walk,’ she lied, her hands were shaking from how close Zayn was to hers and she could smell his hypnotizing cologne.”
Harry Styles as a Kind Slave Owner: In this shoddy Fifty Shades ripoff, Harry Styles saves a 17-year-old girl from the apparently ruthless UK sex slave ring and, wait for it, falls in love with her. It features riveting passages like: “Harry stepped away from me and paced towards the couch. 'Hey, since you made the cook go home, go make a sandwich for me.'”
Toy Story Gets a Musical Reboot: This one is weird. In it, the human daughter from Toy Story is a 20-year-old and is auditioning for a ballet company. Meanwhile, the toys are just hanging out at home, doing nothing really. Oh wait, Woody and Buzz are dancers too? WTF?
"Glee" During the Revolutionary War: Set during the Revolutionary war, Kurt is fighting in the Continental Army. It’s not clear if they break into song and dance while fighting the British.