Schoolgirl Tells Santa: 'Bring me Justin Bieber or I'll Kill You'

December 15, 2011 By:
Schoolgirl Tells Santa: 'Bring me Justin Bieber or I'll Kill You'

I think this pretty much sums up America.

A 13 year-old schoolgirl wrote a letter to Santa Claus, threatening to murder him if he doesn’t bring her some decent Christmas gifts. I think the bigger issue here is that this chick is thirteen and still believes in Santa.

Mekeeda Austin’s Christmas list to Mr. Claus included a Blackberry and “the real-life Justin Bieber.”

“Remember…two of these, or you die,” Austin wrote.

She also vowed to “hunt down” and kill Santa’s reindeer and “serve their meat to homeless people on Xmas day.”

Well, at least she’s charitable.

“I don't really believe in Santa any more but I was angry because I thought I wasn't going to get all the presents I wanted this year," Mekeeda said. "I want all of these things and I don't see why I shouldn't get them."

We joke about the craziness of all these Beliebers, but it’s not gonna be so funny when they form a cult and go on a serial killing spree.

Mekeeda’s mom, Tracey, says she plans to get her daughter what she wants:

"When I first found the letter, I thought it was funny," she admitted. "Now I think I'd better get her what she wants. The last thing I want is for her to kill Santa."

Santa should write back: “B-tch, you picked the wrong fictional character to f-ck with.”

Meanwhile, Justin Bieber has taken on the role of Dr. Phil. He recently mended a relationship between a mother and daughter who weren’t speaking to each other.

The two appeared on The Rosie Show after being told they were going to try out for a “Bieber-based contest.” Then, as a surprise, Justin Bieber showed up.

"There was a time between me and my daughter when we didn't talk and everything I did and everything I said was wrong," explained the mother, Lisa. "And because of you... she saw videos of you and she shared that with me. It bonded us."

She then added, You want me to kill someone in your name? Or you good?