Justin Bieber Attacked by Crazed Fan On Stage

May 6, 2013 By:
Justin Bieber Attacked by Crazed Fan On Stage

All this bizarre Justin Bieber news has finally reached a breaking point.

We just can’t explain it anymore, why all this negativity just sticks to him like a cynical magnet. Either Justin’s planets are in negative retrograde and he has the worst karma ever, or someone’s Justin Bieber-shaped voodoo doll is working overtime.

The latest twist in this musical adaptation of a "Goosebumps: Choose Your Own Adventure” chapter book is a crazed fan storming Justin on stage in Dubai to either give him a tight bear hug or to choke him until he’s singing and dancing with his hamster Pac (RIP Pac 2012–2013).

The fan either really loved the show or really hated it, but judging from the foam gathering at the corners of his mouth and his welcoming outstretched arms, our guess is he just wanted to run his fingers through Justin’s hair or find out what his skin smelled like. No different than any other Belieber.

However, we’ll never know his intent because a security guard quickly materializes on stage, tackling the assailant to the floor, knocking over the piano Justin’s playing in the process because it’s a toy and he wasn’t really playing it.

Amazing that in such an intense situation, the music of this “live” ballad just keeps skipping along. A piano tumbles over like a slinky while girls in the front row scream like farm animals from The Silence of the Lambs, yet Justin just keeps singing like this is just some intimate picnic he’s planned.

Let’s hope this Disney remake of the climax of The Bodyguard is the apex of all this J.B. hysteria.