The world of late-night TV had a field day with Justin Bieber's DUI yesterday.
9. “President Obama announced today that America’s number one domestic terrorist has been apprehended. They finally arrested Justin Bieber. We don’t have to live in fear anymore!” – Jay Leno
8. “Bieber told police he had consumed alcohol, smoked marijuana, and taken some prescription medication. Or as Toronto mayor Rob Ford calls that: 'a light snack.'” – Jay Leno
7. “Shirtless, cocky, pants half-off, tattoos. Based on my projections, this is what Justin Bieber will look like in 2018":
– Jimmy Kimmel
6. “I think between the first and second picture they took away his juice box or something.” – Jimmy Kimmel
5. “Justin was caught going 60 miles an hour in a Lamborghini. Hey, Justin, it’s called second gear, try it some time. But to be fair, it is Florida, so anything over 20 miles an hour is considered drag racing.” – Jay Leno
4. “The police report describes him as five-foot-nine and 140 pounds. Or as his cellmate put it: 'just right.'” – Conan O’Brien
3. “He got up on the car to wave to his adoring fans, as if he was at a movie premiere. What does that remind me of? Yes, that’s exactly what that reminds me of. When Michael Jackson was…
…so that’s a good sign.” – Jimmy Kimmel
2. “Just when the streets are finally safe from Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber comes out of nowhere, arrested in Miami Beach…and he’s in trouble with his grandparents for not stopping by to visit.” – Jimmy Kimmel
1. “I don’t know if I’m looking at a mugshot or a Proactiv commercial. He’s so excited to be arrested.” – Jimmy Fallon
Honorary mention: This tweet by Seth Rogen.