Just as those gossipy pilgrims did, we gather ‘round to carve the turkey and reflect on the scandals that blessed us throughout year - the ones that provided us with all the heavy calorie gossip and juice that celebs provideth.
1. Jonas Brothers disband
IT’S THE END OF AN ERA. But we’re thankful that it’s the start of Nick Jonas' solo career.
2. Kanye vs. Kimmel
Kanye West sure knows how to entertain - even when he’s off the stage. What Jimmy Kimmel regarded as a vast overreaction to an “innocuous” sketch about the rapper became the hot media topic of the week (Kanye’s barbed comebacks on Twitter included) and for that we’re thankful.
3. Sleeping Bieber video
Justin Bieber found himself sleeping like a baby, baby, baby, oh! in a Brazilian hotel after a woman that he invited back to his suite creepily recorded him. As these videos always do, it found its way online and into our hearts. Because he’s the ripe age of, like, nine-years-old, we assumed it must be his babysitter but it turns out she has an escort-for-hire past. They grow up so fast!
4. Introducing Eiza González!
Following Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s permanent separation, the world came to know his brief fling: a famous south-of-the-border actress and singer named Eiza González. THANK HEAVENS.
5. Zac Efron getting the help he needs
We were shocked to learn that the seemingly clean-cut former “High School Music” star secretly checked into rehab for a serious substance abuse problem. And we are thankful that he has received the treatment that he needed.
6. Video of drunk Reese Witherspoon
Reese never looked more human than when she jer-runkenly stood her ground and claimed her stance “on American soil” against a police officer who wrote up her husband for a DUI.
7. Beyoncé’s treasonous act against the United States of America
Remember when Beyoncé was accused of lip-syncing "The Star Spangled Banner” at President Barack Obama’s inauguration and it was an issue of NATIONAL SECURITY? Her team clarified that she was accompanied by a backing track but she still sang the anthem live. What we’re really thankful for, however, is when Bey opened her Super Bowl press conference with an a capella rendition of the song as her statement. BYE HATERS.
8. And, of course, Miley Cyrus.