Joe Jonas Covers Fashion Week, Becomes 13-Year-Old Girl

February 7, 2014 By:
Joe Jonas Covers Fashion Week, Becomes 13-Year-Old Girl
Image By: Getty Images / Chelsea Lauren

Your favorite virgin-turned-socialite Joe Jonas has a new job. Now that he and his brothers are no longer collectively making music…he’s a fashion blogger.

Sort of.

Joe, who has shown no previous interest in fashion (other than dressing really, really good), has been hired by NY Magazine’s The Cut to provide “dispatches” from New York Fashion Week.

Apparently it’s supposed to be his thoughts on all the fashion shows, but instead it reads like a 13-year-old girl won a trip to NY and then texted a friend about it.

These are Joe’s actual “musings” (we’ll call them musings because “writing” would be giving him too much credit) from his first post for The Cut.


“On Thursday, to kick off NYFW, I figured I would start the day with a Fountain of Youth smoothie from Juice Press.”

Yes, that is how he BEGAN his “post.”


On reviewing Richard Chai’s menswear show he said, “He’s truly mastered layering and combining different fabrics.” Uh, yah, it’s called BEING A FASHION DESIGNER.


On wanting to try out a look he saw on the runway..."They incorporated a shirt tied sideways around the waist. I might wait a day or two so it’s not so fresh in people’s minds.”

Of course you should wait before trying the trend. You don’t want Jessica and Casey and Kali to see you wearing it so soon!


“I was into Zachary Quinto’s sharp look today.”

Joe, just admiring Zach’s “look.”


“Most people kept their coats on inside, which added an element of individuality to their outfits.”

Um, care to elaborate?


He does not.

Moving on.


“Everyone looked a little sweaty when they ran out after the show. The cold air was a relief.”

Joe commenting ON THE TEMPERATURE in a piece about FASHION.


Oh, then there is THIS brilliant revelation…

“At times, it seemed like people don’t enjoy going to shows anymore. I understand this fatigue, but they seemed almost bored, like they were just watching because they had to.”

Bored like this, Joe?


Overall, we think this best sums up Joe Jonas’ “exposé” on Fashion Week: