Christmas is a whole lotta good, but with the good comes the whole lotta bad. It’s just the magical yin-yang of life at work, even during the holidays. Remember we can’t have too many of a good thing. It’s the same philosophy at work when for every iPod you get for Christmas, you unwrap a pair of socks from Rob Kardashian’s line. If there's a silver lining to any of these films, you can make a drinking game out of them for sure. Mmm, spiced cider.
We've done the dirty work for you and gathered all these lumps of coal for you. Here are the top nine that are eternally on the naughty list. They don’t deserve Santa’s time of night. They don’t deserve presents.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas — Instead of “Who?” I want to ask the filmmakers behind this on behalf of all, WHYYYY? Why did they readapt this beloved story so horribly? Funnyman Jim Carrey was inspired casting for The Grinch, but the rest is just like a cup of eggnog with some crushed Ritalin in it. Or that million-watt Christmas lit house that synched itself up to “Gangnam Style.” Not at all delightful.
Surviving Christmas — Instead of “Surviving Christmas” how about surviving “Surviving Christmas”? Ben Affleck plays a crass millionaire who pays a random family living in his former childhood home to spend Christmas with him. A plotline so good it’s right down there with “Gigli”.
Eyes Wide Shut — Disclaimer: This is actually a good movie. Taking it out of context (was this movie even set during Christmas? I don’t know, I just vaguely remember a scene with snow) this is actually an awful Christmas movie though.
Home Alone 3 — Because Hollywood can’t just leave a good thing alone, they decided to ruin the legacy of the first two “Home Alone” films by adding this unwanted third to the mix.
Alvin and the Chipmunks — One sentence rationalizing why this makes the list of the worst: Three squealing chipmunks reenacting the “Bad Romance” dance.
The Family Stone — Christmas is a time when families should get together, except the one depicted in this movie. I love a good dysfunctional holiday dramedy as much as the one that is my own life, but “The Family Stone” tries to be too many things at once and never fully realizes itself. The Diane Keaton scenes and the scenes with the gay couple are the only good scenes.
Christmas with The Kranks — Everyone’s favorite movie Santa Tim Allen stars with Jamie Lee Curtis in this slapstick trying-to-hard motion picture about a couple who want to skip Christmas until their daughter decides to visit at the last minute. Nothing inventive, new, or even classic feeling about this one.
Four Christmases — This one is just kind of embarrassing for all involved. Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon couple up in this phone-it-in Christmas film about a couple who have to visit every side of their family in a single day. It’s just a stressful viewing experience.
Jingle All the Way — Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Arnold Schwarzenegger punching a reindeer in the face. In this ~* ‘90s classic*~* Arnold goes leaps and bounds to get the must-have toy of the year for his son. Terminate Christmas, this is so bad it’s good.