Jessica Simpson Tweets About Short Girl Problems From Toilet

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Jessica Simpson Tweets About Short Girl Problems From Toilet
Almost as much fun as playing Angry Birds in the bathtub.

On Monday, Jessica Simpson tweeted what appeared to be her feet dangling from a toilet, along with the caption: “Short girl problems.” I’m not sure what’s more of a short girl problem, that her feet don’t touch the ground, or that she tweets pics of herself on the crapper.

The photo was taken at department store Bergdorf Goodman. Although, I gotta say, I have no idea how they would know this. Because Jessica doesn’t mention where the toilet is anywhere on the photo. Plus, there’s a towel in the frame. Then again, it’s Bergdorf Gordman, so maybe it’s not a towel and is actually really fancy 50-ply toilet paper.

Also suspicious is the fact that Jessica Simpson’s not wearing shoes. I mean, I know some people like to take everything off when they’re on the toilet, but I don’t know if that’s done in public.

The third question I would like to bring to the table in this toilet investigation is: who took the picture? Unless she’s got really long arms, someone else had to have taken this.

Something fishy is going on here. Might I suggest it’s somehow pregnancy related? I’m sure there’s a conspiracy here but I’m not crazy enough to come up with it.

At any rate, Simpson still hasn’t announced what’s becoming more and more obvious each day. She is reportedly asking for half a million to confirm that she is indeed pregnant. Which is a whole lot of money for something you can get for free. Actually, you know what? I’ve been announcing she’s pregnant for weeks now. Y’all should be paying me.

I mean, Jessica’s not even trying to hide it at this point. She was photographed in New York City this morning wearing the same skintight top and leggings she wore over the weekend. And if this woman isn’t pregnant, she needs to get her stomach checked out. Seriously. It’s like a snake ate a basketball.

And according to an expert, she’s about six months along. Dr. Tara Solomon, the medical director of the Women’s Wellness Center of South Florida, says Jessica is about 20-24 weeks along. She added that the baby should be due in February or March.

Jessica and fiancé Eric Johnson were supposed to marry in November, but Simpson recently decided to postpone the wedding. Gee, wonder why. The two have been dating since May of 2010.

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