Probably NOT the direction you want this conversation to turn when your parents meekly knock on your bedroom door and calmly say, "Hey, Jess, can you sit down for a minute? Mommy and daddy want to talk to you about something..."
Granted Jessica Simpson has been through a divorce herself, but it wasn't quite like this. After 34 years of marriage, Joe and Tina Simpson’s decision to call it quits was made legal yesterday, but the two are nowhere near final in terms of dividing up the assets.
In legal documents that TMZ has obtained through the cameras they’ve embedded in every legal office from LA to San Bernardino, they’ve found that Joe and Tina will go half on their daughter Jessica’s exorbitant life insurance policy. As if their divorce wasn’t morbid enough, right?
The estranged couple has also reached an agreement on how to split the interest accrued from their daughters’ management fees — also massive.
As for their Sherman Oaks residence, Joe and Tina will also half that.
His personal effects, bank accounts, 2012 Mercedes SLS and 2011 Mercedes S63, and miscellaneous stocks will remain his.
Tina gets the house in Waco, 10+ bank accounts, a 2010 Range Rover, 2011 Porsche 997 coupe, and other stuff that was just lying around.
Seems like they’ve finally been able to work together and get through their irreconcilable differences on these financial matters.