If you have no idea who these people are, good for you. That means you're smart. But for everyone else, can you believe this?!
Just when Sam and Ron were starting to get along on the Jersey Shore, resembling a normally functioning couple who's in love and happy, they decide it's time to break up. I guess they just weren't yelling and throwing stuff at each other like they used to.
Sammi "I'm the sweetest betch you'll ever meet" Giancola and Deena "Like da boobs?" Cortese showed up on the Today show Tuesday to talk about their meatball problems or whatever. Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford tried their best to mask the depression of realizing what their careers have come to. They haphazardly asked Sammi about Ron, and she played coy, trying to change the subject and not saying whether or not they were together. Kathie Lee admitted she can't tell the difference between anyone on that show. Then she called Deena "Snooki" and called Sammi "The Situation." Kidding. But it wouldn't surprise me.
Anyway, Ron did open up about the status of their relationship, saying, "We are not together." Ortiz showed up at the Paranormal Activity 3 super fan screening in NYC on Tuesday.
I give it about a week. Not for them to get back together, but for how long it's going to take Ronnie to figure out the plot to Paranormal Activity 3.
Oh! I geddit now. It's about a ghost! Dope.
Before the latest season of Jersey Shore premiered in August, Ortiz told Us Weekly:
"Being in Italy, in such a romantic atmosphere, brought [me and Sam] together."
"The first week was rough -- everyone was like 'Oh, my God.' But [Sammi and I] didn't fight at all in Italy. [It was] probably the highest point in our relationship."
So like any good joke, they decided to end their relationship on a high note.
In the past, these two have said some pretty nasty things to each other. Sam told him multiple times she hates him and never wants to see him again. Ronnie called her a "spoiled bitch" before stomping on her glasses and tossing her around like the Hulk while she clung on to her bed for dear life. Ah, memories. That was a good season.
Paul "Pauly D" Del Vecchio says he prefers his friend single.
"I love single Ronnie," Pauly D says. "When he's doing the relationship thing, I let him do his thing, I don't get involved. When he's with Sammi he's a different person. She's a difficult woman!"