Best Quotes From the 'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere

If you have any friends who couldn’t do anything last night because they were "too busy," let me just tell you right now…they were watching 'Jersey Shore.'

Thursday night marked the Jersey Shore season 5 premiere', and while the main plotline focused on Snooki's alleged affair with Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, the subplot included Vinny's escalating depression.

What really happened: Snooki continued to deny giving Mike a blowjob, and Vinny missed his mommy.

Anyway, if you're a 'Jersey Shore' fan, I'll just leave you with the most memorable quotes from the Jersey Shore season 5 premiere.

Pauly D: "Ryder's looking good tonight, but she already had sex with Vinny. And I'm not really cool with Vinny's sloppy seconds, so I don't really know what to do with her. But, I don't want to be rude."

Sammi: "Oh my God, let's be real. I just feel like Mike has gay tendencies… This is just so weird. Mike normally wifes up his grenades this way. Is he doing that with The Unit?"

Snooki: "My bed is my bed. And I peed in it last year so who would want to sleep in that bed?"

Ronnie: "[Vinny] says 'I'm hungry', his mom feeds him. He says 'I'm dirty', his mom wipes his ass."

Vinny: Ryder's f-cked everyone in the house. If she f-cks Ronnie, it's like guido Bingo!"

The Situation: "This is Hurricane Situation, and it's headed straight for Snooki Island."

Deena: "Wanna do sex?"
Vinny: "Nah."