You can’t blame them for trying, but that didn’t stop the slue of “omg” comments that followed all weekend long. While some say they saw the divorce coming, this is definitely going down in history as one of Hollywood’s most shocking splits. So who else surprised us with the news of their breakup?
Eva Longoria & Tony Parker: While Eva was cheering courtside, Tony was busy cheating courtside. Parker reportedly cheated on Eva with the wife of one of his teammates. Eva confirmed via Extra host and BFF, Mario Lopez, that Parker had hundreds of texts from other women on his phone, one of them being Erin Berry. Erin’s husband, Brent Barry, played on the Spurs from 2004-2008.
Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver: Speaking of cheating, I’m not sure the public will ever get over Arnold’s new Sperminator title. We always knew he was a womanizer, but we were all blindsided to find out he fathered his mistress’s child. And speaking of blind, based on this kid’s uncanny resemblance to Arnold, I don’t see how no one caught onto this for thirteen years. This kid might as well have burst out of the womb, bench pressed 100 pounds and yelled, “I’LL BE BACK!”
Courteney Cox & David Arquette: Their split was so shocking, we’re still in denial. Hell, even they’re in denial. Back in October, Courteney Cox and David Arquette announced a “trial separation”, and ever since, they’ve been able to maintain a very friendly relationship that even involved taking their daughter to Disneyland together. Cox revealed that the split was partially due to the fact that Arquette wanted to have sex with her too much. Maybe I’ve seen one too many episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, but I’m pretty sure avoiding sex with your husband is what marriage is all about.
Sandra Bullock & Jesse James: James traded in one of Hollywood’s prettiest actresses for one of their prettiest drag queens, Kat Von D. It was shocking, but only a little. After all, Sandra is beautiful and classy, and Jesse James looks like the type of dude who brews beer in his bathtub.
Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey: Nick might have been Jessica’s first, but he wouldn’t be her last. The couple famously married in 2002, and only three years later, they filed for divorce. They seemed to be a happy couple on their reality show, Newlyweds, but they cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their split. Apparently Nick didn’t learn his lesson about marriage and reality TV, because he remarried over the weekend and has decided to broadcast the entire wedding on TLC.
Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt: We all remember where we were when this news was announced. The only thing more shocking than this couple’s split is the fact that Angelina Jolie has gotten away with stealing Brad Pitt with very little backlash for the past six years. How she deals with the guilt remains a mystery. My guess is she went to confession and the priest told her to say seven Hail Marys and adopt three kids.