In 2008, Jennifer Hudson experienced one of the most traumatic things as her mother, brother and nephew were all murdered on the same day.
Jennifer has not spoken about the murders until now.
"It's all a blur, it was surreal," she said on VH1's Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson which aired on Monday night. "It was like I was outside of myself."
After the nightmare, she says that she immediately went into hiding.
"For almost two weeks straight . . . [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out," she says. "I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night."
So how is Jennifer doing these days? "I feel like I've lived about three or four different lives," she says.
She says that her fiance and her 11-month old son David definitely made it easier for her to heal.
Little David, "reminds me of my nephew," says Hudson. Remembering her mother she says, "In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom."
Gushing about her son, the proud mama says that he "makes me feel like the most special person on earth. I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us."