Jennifer Aniston: I Don't Think I'll Ever Marry Again

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Jennifer Aniston: I Don\'t Think I\'ll Ever Marry Again
Who can blame her? Marrying someone is supposed to protect you from them putting their dong in another woman and then growing a million babies with her. That didn’t work so well the first time, so why even bother?

Ever since Jennifer Aniston changed her Facebook status to “in a relationship”, took a screenshot of it, and then framed it, we’ve been asking tons of questions about her future. Aniston looks so happy with her new guy, Justin Theroux, and while she usually doesn’t comment on relationships, she made a special exception in order to set the record straight on some rumors.

The actress told Hello! magazine:

"Rumor number one: I am not planning to get married any time soon.”

So much for those matching rings we saw her and Justin sporting when they first started dating. We should’ve realized that these two just really, really enjoy dressing like each other.

“I've been married once, and I don't know if I'll get married again," Aniston admitted. “But I can tell you that as of this very moment, I have no plan to get married. Got that?”

Yes, and I’m a little scared now.

“And rumor number two,” Aniston continued. “We’re not pregnant.”

What?! You mean you were wearing a slightly baggy shirt for no other reason than you just felt like it? That’s unheard of!

Some thought that Aniston was pregnant because she looked just a wee bit bigger since she’s been dating Justin, but she has a reason for that, too:

“It’s just I quit smoking, so I’ve gained a couple of pounds.”

Not sure where those pounds are, exactly. Aniston was just named “Most Fit Over 40” in a poll conducted by Fitness magazine. And if that’s not enough, she also took the title of “Most Wanted Celebrity Body,” beating out the likes of Halle Berry.

But anyway, you heard it from the source. Jennifer Aniston is not pregnant. And in fact, the actress previously told Elle that there’s “no desperation” to have a baby. "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be,” Jen said. “I'm at peace with whatever the plan is. But will you hate me if I say I don't want to talk about my relationship?”

Nope. Will you hate us if we keep talking about it?

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