From Angelina Jolie to Hugh Hefner: Stars Who are Bad in Bed

August 2, 2011 By:
From Angelina Jolie to Hugh Hefner: Stars Who are Bad in Bed

You know that saying that ugly people are better lovers because they have to try harder or something (I don’t endorse this statement…you know, just sayin…) I wonder if the opposite is true, that really attractive people are actually really bad in the bedroom.

That being said, here are the stars who are supposedly really bad in bed:

Hugh Hefner: Who was surprised when Crystal Harris said that Hugh Hefner lasted “two seconds” in bed? Not me, frankly I was more surprised when Hugh defended himself earlier today by saying he has sex on a “weekly basis.” For the record, wearing a robe 24/7 so you can occasionally catch a breeze on your man parts does not count as actual sex.

Colin Farrell: After meeting Woody Allen’s nanny at a party, Colin Farell daytime booty texted her to come over to his hotel room. According to this chick, he has a pencil d-ck and lasted like 10 seconds and fell asleep right away. I guess he wasn’t the love stallion that we assumed he was… aside from the fact that I just made up the term “love stallion.”

Angelina Jolie: After Bill Bob Thornton and Angelina split, Bill Bob claimed that even though Angie was voted the “sexiest person in the world,” he says sleeping with sexy women does not guarantee that it’s going to be good. He said sleeping with the “’sexiest person in the world,’ it may be literally like f-cking the couch.” Billy Bob, you struck me as a couch f-cker. Ulch.

Sandra Bullock: Jesse James claims that Kat Von D is a 100% better lover than his ex-wife Sandra Bullock. When Howard Stern asked James who was more fun in bed (Sandra vs. Kat) he said “no brainer” it was Kat. But should we really believe this guy? He cheated on Sandra with a chick whose middle name was “Bombshell”? His priorities are obviously whack.

Nick Lachey: Jessica Simpson said her love life with Nick Lachey wasn’t exactly 98 degrees, in fact it was the exact opposite. She says the first time they slept together “she faked the whole thing,” and that “Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes.” Boo-hoo somehow I don’t feel bad for J.Simpson at all.

Maria Sharapova: The tennis starlet once dated Adam Levine and he said she was the worst. He claims “she just lay there like a dead frog.” Really, because I’ve heard of some dead frogs that are freaks in the bedroom. Not sure how much I believe this quote though.

50 Cent: Despite claiming that his manhood is a “magic stick” some stripper that hooked up with him said “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give him a 3” and that “50 is definitely not packing.” Ouch, not exactly the “candy shop” you’ve been advertising fiddy.