Hollyscoop loyal reader Armen has sent us a great story and we couldn't refuse to put it up. Enjoy!
So, you're having a drink at the local watering hole, and in walks in your favorite celebrity. After the first few moments of shock fade and insanity sets in, you frantically search through your alley-bought Dior bag for your camera. Oh no, the memory card is full. Don't stress. Calmly and quickly delete those myspace pictures of yourself in the mirror. It's ok, your buddies will understand.
Now that that crisis is overcome, don't start snapping pictures of the celebrity eating, talking, walking, and breathing. It's just rude. Despite the title, if you really must be a groupie, politely walk over and ask if it would be alright to take a picture. If not, don't start kicking and screaming. Celebrities are people too, even if you're mad at them for breaking up with the soulmate of your dreams and causing all that drama in your life.
Remember, most likely you're going to be fighting a crowd of people just like you. Comforting, isn't it? Not really. Try not to trip over your friends handbag on your way around the tables. And please, please! no matter what, go around the waiter holding the drinks; not through him. Remember, acting is his living, being a waiter is just temporary.
Now that you are within shouting distance, for some reason you are under the impression that the only way to get their attention is by yelling, at the top of your lungs.
Here's the moment of truth, your most favoritest celebrity since pre-pregnancy Britney is looking at you! Nevermind the 'deer-in-headlights' look they're giving you. You take thirteen photos of the celebrity and four with your brand new pink razor with matching pink bluetooth.
Now what? You can't just go about your business and go back to your area and enjoy this occurence. No, you and your best girlfriend (well, after you two made up after she texted your boyfriend without telling you about it) begin to believe that you have a shot with the celebrity. Now, don't lose self-esteem over this. But, okay ready? you're not that cool. You just traveled 40 feet in the loudest and most obnoxious possible way to snap more pics than the first time Tara Reid 'accidently' exposed herself, anywhere! but you're still under the impression that they gave you a look. You know, the look.
Trust me when I tell you, flashing isn't going to help the situation. If anything, and this is in extreme circumstances, while you're staring at the celebrity, try to smile. If they invite you over, great. If not, stop, please. Accept this behavior as a way of life and go about your business. Go and call all your friends and ex-best friends and rub it in their face. Go online and put up all the pictures on myspace and send 18 bulletins. But please, don't make a fool of yourself.
All in all, I hope this has helped in developing your celebrity sighting etiquette. If not, don't worry, I'm sure the celebrities need more to talk about than the millions they're getting paid, or the latest R&B singer they're dating. Oh yah, if you go through all this for a B-List celebrity or less, don't forget to thank the customers leaving K-Mart."