George Clooney’s got a rap sheet of exes that rivals his IMDb page.
The notorious playboy goes through women like Jolly Ranchers — a colorful array of flavors, but the second he’s bored, he’s on to the next one. (Honestly, who in history has ever finished an entire Jolly Rancher?)
Tina Fey said it best at the Golden Globes when introducing Gravity:
But we think she may have reversed the roles here. Because it seems like George’s ex-GFs are the ones who end up floating into a soundless space of nullity. It must be drastic to go from A-list red carpets to, well, whatever non-red carpets they’re not walking now.
It begs the question… What in the hell happened to all of George’s ex-girlfriends?
They started dating in 2011 and broke up in 2013.
Now she’s getting hella bohemian in the desert.
But she does look happier than ever.
That’s her new BF, tech entrepreneur Jason Pobre.
They dated in 2009 and broke up in 2011.
Now she’s unemployed and according to her Instagram, looking for a new job.
JK, not really, she’s still a working host and model.
And in love with this guy.
They dated briefly in 2008.
Now she’s the director for a medical spa in New York City.
They dated on and off over a five year period, calling it quits for good in 2006.
Now she’s a DJ for Capitol Radio in London.
They dated in 2002 and broke up in 2004.
Now she runs a blog about observing a plant-based diet called “Veggie Boom Boom.”
They dated in 1996 and broke up in 1999.
She was a French student waiting tables to get through law school, now she’s just leading a normal life. She didn’t chase fame or anything, which is tres cool actually.
They dated in 1994 and broke up in 1997.
She continues to act in Hollywood, most recently in Precious.
They didn’t just date, but were married in 1989, and divorced in 1992.
Now she’s married to ANOTHER silver fox, John Slattery, of Mad Men.
It's safe to say she has a type. But then again, so does George: someone with an expiration date of 2.5 years.