Everyone's Mom Hates 'The Bachelor' Finale

March 11, 2014 By:
Everyone's Mom Hates 'The Bachelor' Finale
Image By: ABC / Twitter

For the last few months, children of mom’s all over the United States have been plagued by the nagging presence of Juan Pablo aka “The Bachelor.” Texts, phone calls, and generally ALL CONVERSATION has been devoted to riveting topics such as: is Juan Pablo cute? Is he an asshole or just too honest? Is Clare an idiot?

If you have a mom, chances are she is currently coming down from the high of last night’s “The Bachelor” season finale. You actually might want to call and check up on her.

Everyone’s first thoughts after having watched “The Bachelor”:

 

 

Because no one loves “The Bachelor” like moms LOVE “The Bachelor”:

 

 

Before the episode began, moms were like:

 

 

And also:

 

 

Moms were interrupting their children’s education to alert them that “the bachelor: them women tell all” would be airing.





I mean, the ANTICIPATION was NEXT LEVEL:

 

“who IF ANYONE will get the proposal?”


Conspiracy stories were buzzing:

 

KEY WORD: WATER SNAKE


But when it came to the final rose ceremony, children everywhere were receiving frantic texts from mom:


and also:


We’re going to assume “D.B.” is douchebag? Also, unsure about the quotes around “SHOW MAN.”


But it went beyond Juan Pablo JUST being “an asshole.” Was Juan Pablo also a hired whore!?



Mom’s HATE Juan Pablo so much they’ve resorted to VIOLENCE:

 

 

and FIRE!

 

 

And SHOE THROWING!

 

 

The best part is when moms try to “figure it out.”



Or when moms have already watched the episode and need to discuss it with their daughter who hasn't watched it yet.

 

 

Moms everywhere have just wasted months of their lives on Juan Pablo, the “ass.”



But don’t even get us started on Dads reacting to “The Bachelor.”



And trying to treat their wives using Juan Pablo’s romantic techniques:

 

 

Some moms were distracted with WHO to hate:



Ladies, Nikki is NOT the problem.

 

Other moms flocked to a more public forum to open a Socratic dialogue on the issue:



Mom’s eventually went about their lives, but they still couldn’t shake the bitter taste of a botched proposal.



But when the VITRIOLIC HATE died down, all moms understand that this was an important lesson in love.

 

 

Or at the very least, a critical moment to get the last word in:



PREACH:



But the end of Juan Pablo’s reign is most important because: