For the last few months, children of mom’s all over the United States have been plagued by the nagging presence of Juan Pablo aka “The Bachelor.” Texts, phone calls, and generally ALL CONVERSATION has been devoted to riveting topics such as: is Juan Pablo cute? Is he an asshole or just too honest? Is Clare an idiot?
If you have a mom, chances are she is currently coming down from the high of last night’s “The Bachelor” season finale. You actually might want to call and check up on her.
Everyone’s first thoughts after having watched “The Bachelor”:
Oh god my mom is going to be pissed at the finale of the Bachelor— Shane Mitschke (@PartyshipDown) March 11, 2014
Because no one loves “The Bachelor” like moms LOVE “The Bachelor”:
My mom crying over the bachelor rn pic.twitter.com/0xOJOJDkd1— Kendra Weiser (@kendraweiser2) March 11, 2014
Before the episode began, moms were like:
my mom takes bachelor finale night very seriously pic.twitter.com/fkWmicrJNY— sophia vellone (@sophvelly) March 10, 2014
Moms were interrupting their children’s education to alert them that “the bachelor: them women tell all” would be airing.
I mean, the ANTICIPATION was NEXT LEVEL:
“who IF ANYONE will get the proposal?”
Conspiracy stories were buzzing:
KEY WORD: WATER SNAKE
But when it came to the final rose ceremony, children everywhere were receiving frantic texts from mom:
We’re going to assume “D.B.” is douchebag? Also, unsure about the quotes around “SHOW MAN.”
But it went beyond Juan Pablo JUST being “an asshole.” Was Juan Pablo also a hired whore!?
Mom’s HATE Juan Pablo so much they’ve resorted to VIOLENCE:
My mom is really getting into the Bachelor tonight pic.twitter.com/epZNfB1vyR— Lauren Lisauskas (@laurenlisauskas) March 11, 2014
My Mom's reaction to The Bachelor tonight: pic.twitter.com/XiXAC4SZj7— Taylor Erickson (@tay_erickson) March 11, 2014
And SHOE THROWING!
What my mom says about the bachelor I love her pic.twitter.com/W2qNwJIaBN— Whit ღ (@WhitneyWren1) March 11, 2014
The best part is when moms try to “figure it out.”
Or when moms have already watched the episode and need to discuss it with their daughter who hasn't watched it yet.
i haven't watched the bachelor yet and my mom is pestering me trying to tell me who won pic.twitter.com/8g7YU6rMRl— lauren garrison (@L0L0X0X0) March 11, 2014
Moms everywhere have just wasted months of their lives on Juan Pablo, the “ass.”
But don’t even get us started on Dads reacting to “The Bachelor.”
And trying to treat their wives using Juan Pablo’s romantic techniques:
My dads note to my mom this morning. Bachelor humor lol "I LIKE you very much!" pic.twitter.com/xiWIKR9mJF— Madison Hultman (@madisonhultman) March 11, 2014
Some moms were distracted with WHO to hate:
Ladies, Nikki is NOT the problem.
Other moms flocked to a more public forum to open a Socratic dialogue on the issue:
Mom’s eventually went about their lives, but they still couldn’t shake the bitter taste of a botched proposal.
But when the VITRIOLIC HATE died down, all moms understand that this was an important lesson in love.
My mom always turns watching the bachelor into a love life lesson. "Never let a man treat you like that"— Haylee (@hayleeb_) March 11, 2014
Or at the very least, a critical moment to get the last word in:
But the end of Juan Pablo’s reign is most important because:
Just found out that the bachelor is over. Whoo I can have my mom again!!!— masterson oh snap (@masterson2) March 11, 2014