After watching the new trailer for The Bling Ring on repeat for the 33rd time, we’re finally coming up for air to write this post.
First of all, it’s full of Emma Watson and Emma Watson-related reasons to be completely infatuated with Emma Watson.
She throws a Cloak of Invisibility over her Hermione self and, like, literally, like, transforms.
She disaffects a spoiled valley girl’s accent so pitch perfectly; you can practically hear someone’s daddy’s credit card being swiped between her faux-dramatic beats.
Basically, she’s so good in the trailer, it just makes you want to rob Emma Watson.
First, let’s rewind and catch you up to speed. Rather we’ll let the YouTube user with the amazing handle “I’m a walkintravesty,” explain it because they do it better than whoever does the voiceovers for the E! True Hollywood Story Special: “The Bling Ring was an actual group of teenagers who stole around $3 M worth of stuff from various celebrities' houses”—Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Miranda Kerr, Megan Fox, to name a few—“over a period of 1 year. One of the members of the group was Alexis Neiers, the girl Emma Watson is portraying in the movie.”
The way these girls were squealing over going to an Audrina Patridge house party, we’re squealing over this movie. We can’t wait. Can’t. Wait.
Especially because it’s full of lines you’ll be quoting with all your friends this summer while waiting for your iced venti nonfat macchiatos at Starbucks…
“Girls! Time for your Adderall!”
“C’mon, let’s go to Paris’..." *pout* "...I wanna rob.”
“We’re in L.A. Don’t be such a little b*tch.”
“I’m a firm believer in karma. And I think this situation was a huge learning lesson for me. To grow and expand as a spiritual human being. I want to lead a country one day for all I know.”