Ashton Kutcher: Marriage is the Most Difficult Thing in the World

November 18, 2011 By:
Ashton Kutcher: Marriage is the Most Difficult Thing in the World

After Demi Moore released a statement to the Associated Press that she and Ashton Kutcher have decided to get a divorce, now Ashton has taken to twitter to express his “feelings.”

I thought he was not allowed to tweet anymore? Right, well anyways, he still is and I’m indulging his habit. Here’s what he said about their decision to end the relationship.

“I will forever cherish the time I spend with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail. Love and light, AK.”

Is it difficult because he wants to bone other people? Or is it difficult because 22-year-old blonde chicks are just showing up in his hot-tub? What’s so “difficult” about it Ashton?

I get it, marriage is hard, and I commend any couple that stays together, but there are a lot of things that can be described as “the most difficult thing in the world.” For example, being the President is difficult. Finding drinkable water in Haiti is difficult. Being married to Demi Moore? Not as difficult as those other things.

Not even an hour ago, Demi released this statement regarding the couple’s mutual decision to end their marriage.

“It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation."

Sorry Demi, I’m not really helping the cause by blasting your soon to be ex husband.

The relationship started showing strain in September when Ashton cheated on Demi with some 22-year-old chick from San Diego named Sarah Leal. The affair could have been fabricated, but then photos from his San Diego hotel room surfaced online and Leal gave a nearly pornographic first hand account of her “1 night with Ashton” to Us Weekly.

Demi and Ashton tried to make their relationship work by going on spiritual Kabbalah camping trips, but really this cougar-cub relationship was doomed from the start.

After years of people making jokes that Bruce Willis is Ashton’s dad and other “age-difference” jokes, this 6-year marriage has come to and end. Ashton may be starring on “Two and a Half Men” but he’s really only half a man. My apologies for that stupid joke.