Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have been taking to Twitter to passive aggressively address rumors over their separation. It's been really fun.
First, the details. Earlier this week, RadarOnline reported that Sara Leal, the woman who claimed she had sex with Ashton recently, had gotten a lawyer to "explore all of her options." Not a good sign. Ashton and Sara were photographed leaving the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood together back in June. He also went out partying on their six wedding anniversary in San Diego while Demi was in NYC promoting her new Lifetime series.
And this wasn't Ashton's first offense, according to Star. Back in 2010, he banged some girl named Brittney Jones, telling her that he and Demi were "separated, but the public just didn’t know yet.” Apparently, neither did Demi, because she's been Tweeting lovey-dovey photos of her "hubby" all summer long. I think when women start calling their husbands "hubby", though, it's a sure sign that things aren't going well. Anyway.
On Thursday morning, Ashton Tweeted a link to his Spotfiy account, which was playing Public Enemy's Don't Believe the Hype. So we all started thinking, okay, maybe this is all hearsay, and we went back to heating up our Lean Cuisines.
But now, Demi left a cryptic Tweet that has everyone wondering otherwise. She Tweeted a photo of herself with her eyes closed in bed, along with the caption, "I see through you." So either she's announcing her psychic abilities, or she's giving her estranged husband a little jab.
Then, days before, Demi wrote another Tweet that read: "When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."
It was a quote from a Greek philosopher, which makes it perfect for posting to Twitter in referencing your floppy-haired husband cheating on you. I'm sure that's exactly what that Greek philosopher had in mind when he wrote that.
Basically, these two have way too much time on their hands. Demi should be filing divorce papers, and Ashton should be banging random chicks and pretending to read lines for Two And A Half Men, while he slowly turns into Charlie Sheen.
Speaking of the show, not long ago, when addressing his massive trailer, Ashton said:
"If I ever have a fight with Demi I'm staying in the trailer. It's a bit of a castle but I'm running an empire from in there."
And by "empire", I think he means the slew of desperate blonde groupies he picked up in San Diego.
Neither Demi nor Ashton's people have responded to any of the rumors, so I guess this thing's not official. But if you can crack their Twitter code, it seems pretty obvious that something's up.