Celebrity Roundup: It's Headline Wednesday!

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Celebrity Roundup: It\'s Headline Wednesday!
Cue the orchestra… Dim the lights… Bring the curtain up... It’s our favorite time of the week!

Just like every week, the stars gave us plenty to talk about in the last seven days. We’ve got bar brawls, shocking revelations, and a slew of hot pregnant mamas.

If you haven’t heard, Chris Brown and Drake got into quite a bar fight while clubbing it in New York City. Reportedly, Drake made a testosterone-fueled comment about Breezy’ ex Rihanna, then threw a punch, then threw a bottle at his face… Long story short, Chris Brown shared it all on Twitter.

Sad news… Jack Osbourne has been diagnosed with MS and now People has more details.

Thanks to the fact that nothing better is on TV right now, “The Bachelorette” is still making headlines. Judging from all the headlines, she sounds like a real jerk.

Also, plenty of baby mama drama… Catelynn from “Teen Mom” is not pregnant, Snooki is, and Khloe K wants to be.

All that and more in this week’s headline roundup…

People:
“I Won’t Let My Son Die” – Sharon Osbourne opens up on the recent MS diagnosis of her 26-year-old son Jack. Break out the tissues… This one’s heartbreaking.

“Hollywood’s Strongest Marriages” – And the winner is… Jeff and Susan Bridges, going 35 years strong. (This is like pouring salt in the wound after the recent Johnny Depp Vanessa-Paradis split.)

“William Turns 30!” – Kate throws a giant phallic-shaped Nerf dart in order to celebrate.

“We’re Still a Couple” – John Edwards’ mistress opens up and let’s us see her private parts… of her life that is. A new memoir tells her side of the story.

Us Weekly:
“I’m Not Pregnant” – Gotcha… “Teen Mom” Catelynn is not having another baby. She tells us why she and Tyler are not ready to pop out any more kids. Also, they’re planning a wedding.
“We’ll Do it Our Way” – Snooki tells us all about pregnant lady sex and her horny baby-to-be.

“Khloe Shares Her Fertility Struggle” – Khloe and Lamar are trying to have kids, via in vitro treatment… (Now please excuse me while I attempt to purge that image from my brain.)

“Ashton & Mila Secretly Dating” – Are we seriously still talking about this?

“Rihanna’s Violent Love Triangle” – The claws came out as Drake and Chris Brown shared a highly publicized catfight in a NYC club over the female hip-hop star.

In Touch:
“Bachelorette Chooses Fame Over Her Child” – Emily Maynard drags her daughter on TV, fights with her in-laws, and overall just acts like a raging b-.

“Secret Demons” – A new Adele tell-all brings to light her battles with alcohol, relationships, and weight.”

“Young Angelina” – Photos surfaced from when the actress was 14. Let’s just say, she hadn’t quite matured yet. But, guess what… Her lips have always been that big!

Star:
“Kim’s Divorce Court Confessions” – An article that exposes all the secrets about Kim K’s fake marriage to Kris Humphries. Also all her fans are “stupid imbeciles.”

“Honeymoon Blowup” – Will Kopelman reportedly rejects Drew Barrymore’s sexual advances during their honeymoon. Not even scented candles, lingerie, and massage oils could spark the mood in that wet match.

“Halle’s Fabulous Wedding Details” – For Halle Berry’s third marriage, Star reports a South African venue, an emerald ring, a Roberto Cavalli dress, and a private cruise for the honeymoon in the Mediterranean.

OK!:
“Teen Mom Wedding” – Leah and Jeremy tied the knot. It poured and they didn’t wear shoes… Great planning. Her twins Ali and Aleeah were the flower girls.

“Kanye to Kim: It’s Me or Your Family” – To which Kim replied, “Well who makes more money?”

“Rob & Kristen’s Honeymoon” – Ok!’s keeping up the illusion that Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson are married. Their “globe-trotting honeymoon” supposively featured stops in Australia, Paris, and Florence.

Life & Style:
“Baby Joy & Drama!” – Three moms face off… Giulana, Khloe, and Kim Zolciak, spill the beans on their babies to be. Also, 12 other celebrity baby bumps to give you your fill of raging hormones for the week.

National Enquirer:
“The Screaming Match that Spilt John & Kelly” – More info on the “tears & lies” that have surrounded the actor’s alleged sex scandal. Also, some allaged gay lover photo action.

“Are You My Real Dad?” – Screw a paternity test… Khloe shows up in prison to ask OJ if he’s her father.
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