Warlocks to Cast a Spell on Charlie Sheen

March 18, 2011 By:
Warlocks to Cast a Spell on Charlie Sheen

It’s time for some more angry nerd jokes! Warlock Christian Day is planning to lead a group of witches on tour with Charlie Sheen.

Day told Fox News, “When we go to see Charlie Sheen, we will be working our energy, muttering our spells. The reality is, this is a man who needs healing. And if he wants to bring us up on stage and have us offer him healing—we’ll do it.”

I’m sure they will. “…and if he wants to invite me to his home to have sex with a real woman, I’ll do it. Maybe just let me touch a live boobie? Please?”

Day has come a long way from being pissed off about Sheen’s haphazard use of the words “warlock” and “goddess.”

“To talk about some cheap street whore as a ‘goddess’ is insulting to those religions of old. What if he called the cheap street whore ‘Jesus’? People would be very offended."

I could make a sacrilegious joke about a "second coming", but that would be offensive, right? Ok. I'll just leave it out there for those who might be interested.

Day says that Sheen is “drawing the dead,” by “opening doorways to spiritual interference and possession from forces.”

Dude, he’s not possessed. That's just what happens when you mix a downer with an upper.

Despite his desire to help Sheen, Day is disappointed at having to pay for his tour ticket.

“I’m absolutely horrified that I spent more on tickets to see Charlie Sheen than Barbara Streisand," Day said.

#WTF