Warlocks Perform Cleansing for Charlie Sheen

March 7, 2011 By:
Warlocks Perform Cleansing for Charlie Sheen

Christian Day, the real-life warlock who was offended by Charlie Sheen’s comments, performed what TMZ is calling a “Magical Intervention” for Sheen.

The ceremony was broadcast by MyFox Boston, and included a coven of both male and female witches. The video is pretty good. Think Good Will Hunting meets The Craft.

During the ceremony, Day says, “You shall speak the names of the craft no more in foolishness and irreverence. Our ancient ways shall not be shamed by your ill deeds.”

Day then yelled, “MOM! I told you to put out some Jelly Bellies! I have guests, dammit!”

He explains that Charlie Sheen is “no warlock, for a warlock is a wise person who understands the ways of the spirit world. So no truly wise person would betray their own soul the way he has done.”

Christian Day is what happens when you make it to thirty never having had sex. And if his role as a warlock doesn’t cut it, Day could be a makeup artist, because he did a damn good with his eyeshadow. He’s also adorned in more jewelry than a Tiffany’s storefront window.