He’s always reminding us that everything he does is epic, and Charlie Sheen says his Comedy Central roast will be no different.
It's true, Charlie. If there’s anything you’re good for these days, it’s sitting back while the world makes a ton of hilarious jokes at your expense.
Comedy Central has released two promos featuring Charlie Sheen at the head of a train that’s carrying a bevy of goddesses. The “Roast Express” is taking them to “Goddess Harbor”, “Winnington” and “Tiger Valley.”
“Um, Charlie?” one of the Goddesses asks. “Does this train stop in Normalville?”
Sheen replies: “Honey, we left there a long time ago.”
Yup. Along with Sobertown.
In the background, Black Sabbath’s Crazy Train plays, which might be cliché, but it’s also incredibly appropriate. In the second promo, Sheen addresses his roast. Oh, and he's referring to himself in third person again.
“Comedy Central is gonna roast Charlie Sheen? That’s like trying to reason with a volcano. Like trying to duct tape the wind to the ground. It’s like trying to catch a tsunami in a sippy cup. Good luck, mortals.”
Right, Charlie. Except you’re not any of those things, and Seth MacFarlane and Anthony Jeselnik will rip you apart. MacFarlane will serve as the roast master. During the roast of Donald Trump, some of Seth’s gems were:
“Donald, as long as I have you here, it’s pronounced huge not uge. And here’s another one. It’s pronounced I’m fucking delusional not I’m running for president.”
And you can bet, if anyone’s going to destroy Charlie Sheen, it’s going to be the hilariously deadpan Anthony Jeselnik. During Trump’s roast, Jeselnik said:
“You say you only roast the ones you love, so this is gonna be short.”
“Donald Trump is such a douchebag, if you look the word douchebag up in the dictionary, there’s a picture of Spencer Pratt. But if you look close, Spencer Pratt is holding up a picture of Donald Trump.”
Roast veteran Jeff Ross will also be part of the shindig, as well as Mike Tyson, Jackass star Steve-O, and TMZ’s Harvey Levin.
And despite rumors and the endless amount of experience Jon Cryer undoubtedly has with Charlie, he's insisting he's not going to be part of the festivities.
According to Entertainment Weekly, Cryer says he’s “not participating in any way,” but plans to DVR the special and watch “out of curiosity.”
The roast is set to air on September 19th.