Chuck Lorre really wants revenge.
Denise Richards reportedly turned down a role to guest star on the premiere episode of the next season of Two and a Half Men because she thinks Charlie Sheen would be pissed.
According to TMZ, sources connected to the show say that the producers offered Denise a starring role next to Ashton Kutcher, but Richards told them she wouldn’t do it, as "she would never hear the end of it from Charlie."
Good for her. As insane as Charlie Sheen has become, Denise is still supposed to be a friend, and you know the only reason Chuck Lorre asked her to do it was to stick it in his craw. Whatever the hell a "craw" is.
I mean, come on Chuck. You won. We all ended up seeing Charlie Sheen as a sad, tired old bag of clichés. So just be glad you got Ashton and move on.
Though another part of me would really like to see Denise Richards and every other woman Charlie Sheen has screwed over appear on the show. And speaking of Charlie Sheen's goddesses, he might have lost two, but an old one popped back up. It looks like Charlie and Brooke Mueller might be reconciling.
The couple divorced earlier this year, but they reportedly rekindled their relationship and flew off to Mexico on Friday. What was the occasion? Loneliness and a Viagra-fueled boner. Well, also, Brooke's 34th birthday. Mostly the loneliness and erections though.
Charlie booked a $15,000/night Presidential Suite at the Four Season's Punta Mita. Charlie probably booked it because he didn't see the word "N" in "Punta" and knows what that word means in Spanish.
CHARLIE: Where are all the prostitutes? I thought this was Puta Mita.
CONCIERGE: It's, uh, Punta Mita, sir.
CHARLIE: @!#$ing worthless Rosetta Stone.
Charlie and Brooke then had dinner together on the beach. A source told E!:
"There were candles everywhere. They ate very healthy, local fish, salad, drank fruit juices. Charlie had arranged a chocolate molten cake with candles for dessert. It was beautiful."
Charlie and Brooke were photographed kissing in a hammock and pretending to smoke from a banana. Though with those two, they probably actually figured out a way to extract hallucinogens from a banana.
"Forgot how much I love this place. #mexico is paradise...." Sheen tweeted Sunday. "Brooke and I are thinking about staying for the rest of the month!!!"
The couple has apparently been at the spot three times before.
"Charlie says Mexico is paradise and he feels completely relaxed here," the source added.
I'm sure the Ecstasy doesn’t hurt, either.