Charlie Sheen really does have a way with words. All the words.
When he found out that Farrah Abraham had leaked their private text message conversations to TMZ (posted on the blog’s site yesterday), he was pissed. Super pissed. Pissed enough to open his email and exercise his First Amendment right to freely express how pissed he was.
In the little diatribe, posted in full below, Charlie pens a rejection letter addressed to Farrah, which proves his silver tongue is really a sword—where insults aren’t just fired, but somersault before your very eyes, even managing to slip in a reference to Lord of the Rings and exhibit a flair for the semi-colon.
hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;
I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at p*rn.
your daughter must be so proud.
please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.
oh and I'm sure they'll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o'clock shadow.
Apparently Farrah reached out to Charlie in May through texts with a guest “Anger Management” role on her mind. The texts weren’t salacious or rife with lecherous emojis; he responded pleasantly, trying to secure plans to meet in person.
After Farrah used that text exchange as more ammunition to remain in the press, clearly Charlie shut that down.