He wants Mila so bad, he's totally willing to overlook a half million dollar watch missing here, a car missing there, funds missing from his bank account, etc.
"Here's the good news - my goddesses have already f**king approved her. She's pre-approved!" Sheen said during his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour.
"I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you're still f**king winning, you're still winning at that moment."
And get this, he already has a plan as to how he can win her over.
"I'm going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes," Sheen said. "I'm going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal."
Not a bad idea. She'll get to live in a multi million dollar mansion and steal his shit all day long. Great side job.