Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick show this morning to say he attempted to return to work recently, but no one was there. Knowing Sheen, he was probably so out of it that he showed up to the old set of Platoon, thinking it was 1986.
Sheen said he wondered, “Where’s everybody? I guess they’re closed. Nobody told me.”
Someone should tell Sheen that knocking on the studio doors at 4:00am in a bathrobe holding a bottle of bourbon and a crack pipe doesn’t count as showing up for work.
“I heal pretty quickly. But I also unravel pretty quickly,” Sheen said on the show. “So get me right now, guys.”
What are the cast and crew supposed to do, be on call 24/7, ready to shoot Sheen for the five minutes he’s sober each day? They might as well pull a Weekend at Bernies and drag his unconscious body around the set. Then maybe get Frank Oz to puppeteer him.
The crew has already taken a major pay cut, as Warner Brothers has chopped four of the remaining episodes, TMZ reports this morning. Apparently Sheen has offered to work weekends to make sure each of the episodes gets produced.
Also according to TMZ, Sheen doesn’t have a morality clause in his contract, so he can’t be fired from the show for doing drugs or any of the other crazy stuff he’s been doing
lately for the past 20 years.