Charlie Sheen Calls Chuck Lorre a Turd, Thomas Jefferson a P-ssy

February 24, 2011 By:
Charlie Sheen Calls Chuck Lorre a Turd, Thomas Jefferson a P-ssy

I guess Dan Patrick blocked his number, because Charlie Sheen called into the Alex Jones Show today.

On the show, he ripped into 'Two and a Half Men' creator Chuck Lorre, accusing him of being jealous of Sheen's lifestyle. Before calling 'Lorre' a turd, he also said he embarrassed Lorre "in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process."

Referring to his ex-lovers that divulge his personal information to the media, Sheen said:

"These turds, these losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there."

Charlie Sheen is starting to sound like an angry hippie, which may be a contradiction, but I don't know what else to make of someone saying, "When you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available", and then following with "Thomas Jefferson was a p-ssy."

Sheen also says, "Here's your first pee test. Next one goes in your mouth. No, you won't get high…It's all good. It's all good, guys. Quit panicking. No panicking, no judgment."

I would give you the context in which he made that statement, but it still wouldn't make any sense.

Sheen accuses Lorre of being jealous of his lifestyle, and accuses all of his critics of "they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children, and look at their loser lives and look at me and say, 'I can't process it'."

During the interview, Sheen also claims people are jealous because he gets to have sex with porn stars. Chuck Lorre makes even more money, so he could have sex with all the porn stars he wants. But the thing is nobody wants to have sex with porn stars.

When you were banging Denise Richards, people were jealous. But, again, no one actually wants to have sex with porn stars. Guys keep them at a safe distance—on their laptop or TV screens, where the lighting is artificial and you can't see their track marks and meth mouth.