Charlie Sheen Apologizes for Saying Ashton Kutcher Sucks!

February 21, 2012 By:
Charlie Sheen Apologizes for Saying Ashton Kutcher Sucks!

Last week, Charlie Sheen actually called in to TMZ to reveal that he was “tired of pretending” and “tired of lying” and that he truly thinks that Ashton Kutcher “sucks” on Two and a Half Men.

I know, I was excited that warlock Charlie Sheen was back too.

So now, Charlie apparently feels really bad for being so rude, because he has those things, you know, feelings? Now, he’s written a formal apology to Ashton Kutcher and sent it to TMZ, which is the legal protocol for apologizing to someone famous when you yourself are also equally famous.

Charlie writes:

“Dear Ashton. My Bad.”

And that’s it. I’m just kidding! But wouldn’t that be funny? Like an anti-apology? Like Hey, TMZ I want you to tell Ashton Kutcher for me, “My bad.” Hahaha also, sorry about your ex-wife. Just kidding, only write, “my bad.”

Hey Charlie Sheen, you can hire me as your speechwriter, or whatever, no big deal.

Anyways, Charlie Sheen continues in his apology letter, “Dear Ashton. My bad. I was disrespectful to a man doing his best. I got excited and threw you into the crossfire, but the rest of my statement I stand behind. You however, deserve better. Safety in your travels sir. CS.”

Woa, let’s break this down. For starters, “safety in your travels sir?” Pretty sure you only write that when someone is actually traveling?! Oh hey, sorry I said you sucked, also be careful while traveling! What? Dumb.

Second thing: Charlie says that he stands behind the rest of his statement, the rest of the original statement being that Two and a Half Men sucks in general and needs better writers, specifically they need better writers so that Ashton Kutcher can continue doing that thing where his face looks good on TV and the jokes come out of his perfect mouth.

Pretty sure that’s what Charlie Sheen meant to say, I just embellished a little bit on that last part