Charlie Sheen, The Next President Of The United States

June 22, 2012 By:
Charlie Sheen, The Next President Of The United States

In a world destined for turmoil… Only one man could make it worse… Charlie Sheen.

The hard-living actor has agreed to star as The President in the sequel to Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse flick Machete. Sheen will lead the United States to greatness in the grunge film titled Machete Kills.

“I just cast Charlie Sheen #machetekills as the President of the United States! Who better? More soon…” the director tweeted Thursday.

Charlie’s first actions as pres… our guess would be legalize prostitution, install vending machines for narcotics, and fire Ashton Kutcher.

Impressed with their spiraling careers, Sheen could then hire Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes as the Secretaries of Defense and Treasury and fill the rest of his cabinet will consist of various playmates and drug dealers.

Fellow director Eli Roth seemed to agreed with the choice, tweeting at Rodriguez, “Amazing. He's like the George W. Bush!”

As absurd a thought as this may be, Charlie is a consistent choice for the series. The first film, as you may recall, starred Lindsay Lohan as a nun.

Rodriguez has been known to draw in more than a few A-list stars for his roles. Starring alongside Sheen in Machete Kills will be Jessica Alba, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana. The frontman for the high-throttle action ride is none other than badass actor Danny Trejo.

President Sheen will call upon Machete (Trejo), a former Mexican Federale, to stop a cartel villain with weapons in space… Yeah, it’s that epic. Rumor has it that this will be part of a triology that ends with Machete Kills Again in Space.

With the role, Charlie will follow in the footsteps of his father Martin Sheen, who played The President for seven years on “The West Wing.” He will also be joining an exclusive list of actors portraying the first man including Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson, and Bill Pullman.