You hear that? That is the sound of Jennifer Aniston's eggs drying up and the soft clink of the padlock of the crate that Jennifer Aniston keeps Justin Theroux locked inside.
Brad Pitt said that before his life became perfect (i.e. meeting Angelina, shopping for babies, not caring about his facial hair AT ALL) he was just some dumb hot 90's celeb, smoking weed and pretending he was in a happy marriage with Jen.
The "Moneyball" star did something he's not used to, he opened up to a tabloid about his personal life. He tells the magazine Parade:
"I spent the '90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out."
Hey what's wrong with that? Brad just described everyone I met in college.
Apparently, Brad hated this lifestyle, "It started to feel pathetic," he says, "It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn't living an interesting life myself."
Oh, but here's the kicker, "I think that my marriage [to Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn't."
Yep, Jennifer Aniston just tightened the leash around Justin Theroux's neck. Bad news day for Aniston. What's a girl gotta do for the world to forget about her divorce from Brad Pitt that happened over 6 years ago! Surely I am doing nothing to help her cause. Sorry girl.
While Jen Aniston's publicist is busy trying to burn down all of Hollywood before this new story spreads too far, Brad Pitt says his life with Angie is just perfect.
"One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom. She is such a great mom. Oh man, I'm so happy to have her."
Oh man, what else is he gonna say?!
"I put much more emphasis on being a satisfied man. I'm satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much."
I'm so sorry Jen, but the words just keep coming!
"A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss. That's the trade-off," gushes Mr. Jolie.
Soooo, Jen...what's that about you trying for babies with Justin Theroux?