Betty White's Tips for a Long Life: 'Try Not to Die'

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Most ladies Betty White’s age aren’t funny, at least not intentionally. It’s hard not to laugh when my grandma scares herself by breaking wind. But Betty doesn’t have to rely on a bad gastrointestinal system to get laughs—at 89 years old, she’s wittier and more graceful than ever.

The Hot in Cleveland star stopped by The Late Show With David Letterman to give some pointers on how to live a long life. White delivered Dave’s infamous Top Ten List, and this one was titled, “Betty White Tips for Living a Long and Happy Life.”

Some highlights? Number ten was: “Get eight hours of beauty sleep. Or nine if you’re ugly.” White continued:

“Take some wheatgrass, soy paste and carob. Toss in the garbage and cook yourself a big-ass piece of pork.”

Probably the best advice was number three: “Try not to die.”

And proving she’s still hip, Betty advised not to “dwell on past mistakes. Especially you, LeBron.”

White recently launched a new ad campaign with the AARP, in which she said, “If you’re 50 or over but hesitant to join AARP because you think it makes you old, I have a very important message: ‘Get over it.’”

Steve Cone, executive VP of the AARP says, “Betty truly embodies what we’ve been hearing from our members for years: that age is just a number. She’s embracing her age and defying stereotypes and limitations often associated with the number of candles on your birthday cake.”