Ashton Kutcher and New Secret Girlfriend Go on Laser Tag Date

March 6, 2012 By:
Ashton Kutcher and New Secret Girlfriend Go on Laser Tag Date

There are so many things wrong with this headline…1) Ashton Kutcher has a new girlfriend? But Ashton, I thought I was your secret girlfriend? 2) Laser Tag date? Adults do that?

Ashton and his new girlfriend, screenwriter Lorene Scafaria were seen hitting up a laser tag bash over the weekend.

Apparently they were dolled up in matching face paint and took a party bus to the laser tag venue. Great, did they go get pizza afterwards and stop by the homecoming game? WTF, this is what adults do?

Anyways, Ashton and Lorene have been quietly dating since December. They also attended a charity event about two weeks ago and a partygoer says “they were affectionate. When they thought no one was watching, they held hands, and she rubbed his back and his neck.”

Lorene is 33, Ashton is 34…so at least she’s not a 22-year-old blonde hot-tub chick. However, you can’t deny that Lorene is a total Demi Moore doppelganger.

Lorene is tall, thin, with striking features, and brunette. Apparently Ashton has a type.

I hope Demi can handle the news. She’s been released from rehab, went on a brief vacation in Turks and Caicos and has now been photographed returning to LA and Ashton already has a new girlfriend.