Amy Poehler Quotes

I haven't been following the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty. But when it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron. 

2013

I think the next thing is moon wives. Like having a wife here on earth and then a wife on the moon. And everybody’s cool with it. They’re like, “You’re my Earth wife, but my moon wife and I are also in love.” 

2013

I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. 

2013

It's nice to be short, because people expect less from you. 

2013

Back in the day, the Emmy speeches were kind of angry and weepy, because everyone was a little drunk. I wish everybody could bring that back. 

2012

Every high-school student goes upstairs and says, "Have you heard this band Led Zeppelin?" So I hope and assume that every good comedy writer, no matter the age, has a moment where they discover how great Cheers is. And I would encourage any young person getting into comedy to sit down and watch the best television show that's ever been on, and see the structure of it. Because their jokes were evergreen. They didn't do a lot of topical stuff, so nothing feels dated. 

2012

As an actor, you can certainly, at any moment and at any time, discover 400 people who think you’re stupid, fat and ugly. But focus groups -- they can be poisonous as well as informative, I guess. 

2012

Law & Order. I panic that there will be a time when it isn’t on TV. When I’m not in New York it makes me miss New York. I think about all the people angry that their streets are being closed off. And I feel like Jerry Orbach might be someone that I will get to meet in Heaven. 

2011

Protect your friends. You only have one hometown. If you think you’ve had a bad date, remember, it can always get worse. And it’s okay to eat breakfast for dinner. 

2011

I hate Halloween. I hate dressing up. I hate – I wear wigs, makeup, costumes every day. Halloween is like, my least favorite holiday. 

2011

I moved to Chicago in the early 1990s and I studied improvisation there. I learned some rules that I try to apply still today. Listen, say yes, live in the moment, make sure you play with people who have your back, make big choices early and often. Don't start a scene where two people are talking about jumping out of a plane. Start the scene having already jumped. If you are scared, look into your partner's eyes. You will feel better. 

2011

I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading, like, “All right, everybody, now we go over here. All right, now this happens.” 

2011

What has been fun about playing Leslie is getting to a very local level. Everybody’s macro ideas of how they feel about taxes and gay marriage and whatever fade when you are actually doing the day-to-day work. Both conservatives and liberals watch Parks and Recreation, and they each think the show is for them, which is really cool. 

2011

I don’t watch a lot of comedy. For relaxation and escape, I watch shows about how people survive bear attacks. Or old episodes of Law and Order, the Benjamin Bratt/Jerry Orbach era. If I had a time machine, I’d go back and play a 20-year-old punk who set fire to a bakery, and have Jerry Orbach interrogate me. Yeah, I would be a smart-talking street youth, and Jerry Orbach would really dress me down and give me the business…. If it sounds dirty, I’m not meaning it to be. 

2011

People talk to you a lot in restaurants [in L.A.]. People ask you, "What are you eating? That looks good." It’s strange. It is totally unnerving. My first instinct is to make a fist. And then I realize they’re just being nice. 

2009

It's very hard to watch comedy for me, when I'm doing a comedy show, because I either watch a show and I love it, and I'm jealous, or I watch a show and I see all the problems with it, and I'm angry that I watched it. But that's for my shrink, not for you… 

2009

Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers…for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. 

2009

I don't care if it's a girl or a boy, I want it to marry Alice Richmond, Tina (Fey)'s daughter. We'd make a lovely mother and mother-in-law of the bride. 

2008

I loved doing [Weekend] Update. It completely and in the best way changed my experience of doing the show. Lorne Michaels always said to me that the difference is that you will say your name on the show, and it makes a difference… you're allowing yourself to be yourself on camera, which is hard for an actor to do but really hard for a comedian to do, I think. You're not hiding behind a character. 

2008

I would love to do a serious period drama. Oh, absolutely. I mean, you'll find most comedians want to do more serious stuff, most musicians want to be comedians, and most serious actors want to be musicians. 

2008

Sometimes when you get too worried about how you look, or about how something's gonna go, you kind of lose what made you special in the first place. I think that ASSSSCAT will really do that to you, really remind you that things are supposed to be dangerous, you're supposed to feel uncomfortable, you're supposed to enjoy not knowing, trusting your partner, and not falling back on the same stuff, and I think that that does that for me. It's the kind of thing that every time, even when I'm really tired, or I feel kind of burned-out, or I feel like I don't have anything—every time I go out and do it, I feel a thousand times better. 

2008

 I would say my interview style is Morley Safer meets Kermit the Frog, with a dash of Christiane Amanpour. And a pinch of Dinah Shore wrapped in the shell of Lois Lane. My goal is to be the Edward R. Murrow of girls. 

2008

A 14-year-old Indiana girl was arrested after she came to a middle school with a handgun, ammunition, and six small bags of marijuana. Man, Dakota Fanning's growing up so fast! 

2005

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a surprise trip to Iraq Sunday. Also surprised to be in Iraq on Sunday: thousands of U.S. troops who were supposed to be home by Christmas. 

2005