Amanda Bynes: Police “Slapped My Vagina”

May 28, 2013 By:
Amanda Bynes: Police “Slapped My Vagina”

200 million things happened in the Amanda Bynes saga since Friday and they’re not all rainbows, butterflies, and pints of ice cream. To catch you up on all of it is actually pretty exhausting and you might need another three-day weekend to release the stress of going through all of them.

Here are the three main developments:

1. Amanda is suing the NYPD. Because if someone isn’t “murdering” her vagina (Drake), then someone’s slapping it. Following an arrest on Thursday at the actress’s apartment for reckless endangerment, she alleged that she was sexually harassed by the police officers, claiming two officers groped her and another “slapped my vagina.” An Internal Affairs investigation was immediately set in motion; they found nothing, stating they uncovered “no evidence to corroborate Ms. Bynes’ allegations,” NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said.

2. Amanda hates Rihanna. For no foreseeable reason besides the fact that nothing Amanda does is “foreseeable,” she lashed out at Rihanna on Twitter on Sunday. Here’s the tweet that set it off: “Chris Brown beat you because you’re not pretty enough. No one wants to be your lover so you call everyone and their mother.” Rihanna responded: “Ya see what happens when they cancel Intervention?” to which Amanda tweeted back with “unlike your fugly faced self I don’t do drugs! U need the intervention dog! I met your ugly face in person. U aren’t pretty u know know!” Amanda has since deleted all those tweets saying that they weren’t legitimately from her account and “mocked up” by other people.

3.  Amanda is going to be a rapper now. Her final words on this episode: “Thanks for caring! Look forward to seeing me in music videos! I’m getting a nose job! I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper.”