Thanks to the biblical nature of Amanda Bynes’ Twitter feed, we just learned that she a) thinks her nose job is a birth defect (her words) and b) she thinks that getting a nose job is the same thing as surgery to correct a cleft lip and c) Amanda thinks she is a hero.
Amanda, in a matter of tweets, has gone from crazy to “no seriously Amanda, just stop talking.”
Because there are SO MANY tweets, here’s the entire breakdown of yesterday’s nose job tirade translated from “Amanda” to “Human.”
-Amanda cannot wait for her third nose job, so she can start posting more photos.
-Amanda reminds us that she “was born with a webbing in between [her] eyes.” She calls it a “birth defect” that she had “surgically removed” aka a “nose job.”
-Amanda says she “needs a few more surgeries to shave the bridge down to correct the rest of [her] nose so [she] can start the next chapter of [her] career! Music!”
-Amanda calls herself a “hero” for suffering for “27 years with a birth defect.” She says, “I had to share my story with you so the media would stop using old photos of me”
-Amanda says, as soon as she had her “birth defect (i.e. the so-called “webbing”) removed,” she “couldn’t wait to talk about it!”
-She’s having another surgery on Saturday!
-She says her doctors are amazing, they also perform surgery to correct cleft lip palates in children, which Amanda says “is as traumatic as webbing in between your eyes!” Yeah, a cleft lip reconstructive surgery is AS traumatic as getting a nose job. Her words.
-Finally, Amanda ends the night with, “Nothing can hold you back from living out your dreams. There’s a surgery for everything that’s wrong with you!”
The moral of this story is: Find a surgeon that specializes in something like cleft lift surgery, point out a part of your own body that doesn’t necessarily need work but call it a “birth defect” so people will feel sorry for you, and have the cleft lip doctors fix your so-called mangled body so that you too can live out your dreams of becoming a rapper. #AmandaLogic